believe in peer review, but these are not my peers."
academic humor favorites.)
am writing regarding my submitted [paper|proposal] <num:title>. I
recently received reviews, under the heading 'peer evaluation'. I find
your insinuation offensive and I protest all implication that the
people who wrote these reviews are my peers.
I've never sent this. But I've been tempted.)
till you have tenure before you post these..."
(Anonymous former colleague)
can't read. But they can count."
"Everybody thinks they are exceptional, and I'm no exception."
version of "you are special, just like everybody else".)
light a man a fire, you keep him
warm for an hour. You set a man on fire, you keep him warm for the rest
of his life."
(Olin Shivers uses this
gem to introduce hard homework problems)
afraid I cannot review this
paper. I have a conflict of disinterest."
this one yet, but I'm sure I will. :-)
you think that your paper is vacuous,
the first-order functional calculus.
then becomes logic,
as if by magic,
obvious is hailed as miraculous."
Anonymous--probably Paul R. Halmos with help from other attendees of
the 1957 Summer Institute for Symbolic Logic. First-order functional
calculus is what today would be called first-order predicate calculus.)
"No idea is too obvious or dreary,
If appropriately expressed in type theory.
It's a research advance,
That no one understands,
But they are all too impressed to be leery."
(This one is mine.)
"Due to the unfortunate death of the pope this Saturday, my family and
I were totally occupied by mourning services [...]. I was not in an
emotionally fit state to [...] worry about the HW that was due on this
Saturday at 6."
(From a student named Muhammadi! True email.)
Temporary (as in position, office, arrangements)
: Permanent (unless prohibited by law) but really crappy.